WELCOMING A NEW child into your life can turn things upside down, so it’s natural you’d want some time to get used to the new normal.

But with relatives and in-laws keen to meet the new arrival, figuring out a visitation schedule can be tricky. So who’s in the right?

Each week in our new series, Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who can’t figure out if they’re on the right track with a parenting decision, or if they’ve gotten something 100% wrong. To get a balanced view of the situation, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents, keeping things anonymous to encourage honest answers.

This week’s dilemma

Am I being a bad parent… to ask my family to wait a week before visiting the new baby? I’m nearing my due date with baby number two. Last time around, I found all the visits in the first few days overwhelming, so this time around I’ve asked my parents and in-laws to give us a week to ourselves. My in-laws in particular are not happy and my partner thinks we should reconsider. I know they only mean well and want to see their new grandchild. Am I being unreasonable to want them to stay away?

Our anonymous readers’ responses

No, you’re not being unreasonable. We did the exact same thing. It’s one of the few times in life I think you’re utterly justified in being selfish. And if someone *is* calling around then they need to be helping, not expecting to have tea made for them.

Yes, you’re being a little unreasonable. I can see why the grandparents are anxious to see the newborn. Perhaps ask them to come once for a set period of time. If they outstay their welcome, have a plan of action, for example mum says she needs to take a little nap with the baby, so the grandparents can babysit child number one. Underline that if they are going to be there in that first week, it is on your terms and they have to be useful.

No, you are most definitely not unreasonable to want some space. The family members are being unreasonable by not asking when is suitable to turn up and ignoring your wishes!

You’re not being unreasonable, but you should be tactful. As new parents, you both have to decide what’s right for you. If you want some time to yourselves that is totally legitimate. However it’s s worth keeping grandparents and in-laws onside because they will soon become useful in a way you probably haven’t even imagined

So what’s the final tally? Is our reader being unreasonable?

No – 3

Yes – 1

Tell us your thoughts in the comments!

Help! Am I being unreasonable? We’re looking for parenting dilemmas from our readers for our Am I Being A Bad Parent? feature. Drop us a line with your reader dilemma on family@thejournal.ie.

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